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Papercut Nightmares

by DeFord

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about

Just like me it intimidates only the people who don't understand how it works.

- Have you ever had a dream that played out to you like a film?
- There's no way that's a common thing.
- No dramatic irony? No cutting-edge suspense? No musical number at the end that takes you a minute to realize it hasn't been written yet?
- You're pulling my leg.
- You're missing out.
- I don't know, I feel like I'd get really tired of that after a few years, but it does sound good on paper.
- It was about killing your mom.
- Oh.

Heretic - Outtake 1

lyrics

Monday night I stepped out in the breeze
Watching the shadows creep through the weeds
Cause if someone breaks in
They'll teach me again
The worst thing about sleeping alone
Under covers so no one could see
While I dozed off something came over me
I could swear you were right there
A papercut nightmare
Politely snuck into my home
In my hand was a silver syringe
A vial of dark liquid, a means to an end
And my grave fear of needles dissolved in the heat
Because I was the one in control
And God peeked through the fabric to say
To save it for someone who'd take you away
So I went to your mother's
Who only sees her son-in-laws
Once every couple of years
And she knew I was yours until death
Told so many stories she ran out of breath
Though she raised you a dreamer
The thought that you'd leave her
remained one of her greatest fears
I could tell she thought you deserved more
It wouldn't be long 'til she showed me the door
So I held out my arms
Prepared to do harm
But she knew not to trust me
She pulled back and asked why in
Summer I'm wearing long sleeves
So I wiped off my smile
And showed her the vial
And syringe as she sighed in relief
Cause she'd seen this before in a dream
A papercut nightmare when she was sixteen
And knows that it can't be injected, but only ingested
For someone to truly get hurt
I guess that was the moment I knew
That I was the vial and your mother was you
Just like me it intimidates only the people who
Don't understand how it works
How it works

So I wake up and hide from the sun
Think about how to take back what I've done
Til the dreamscape eludes me
And all I can do is make
Sense of the piece I've got left

Someday I hope we raise a kid
To bring me their soulmate so I'll
Remember what I did
In my last longing second
Of violent protection
Bleeding the hand I was dealt

Despite my fear of death
With no hope of resurrection
The walls came down all by themselves

credits

released January 27, 2023

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all rights reserved

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DeFord Indiana

21 // lyricist, beep-booper

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